Invalidation is a destroyer of marriages, jobs, and other relationships. Gender is a distraction in this book, most of the examples of invalidators are women, it could use genderless pronouns. لكنه لم يشرح بشكل واف كيفية التعامل مع المحقرين كما هو الشان بالنسبة للتعريف بهم. If you confront the person they act as if you are crazy, and dreaming up the intonations and anger in their messages. كتاب خفيف ولطيف وأستطيع تلخيصه في قوله تعالى: ولاتستوي الحسنة ولا السيئة ادفع بالتي هي أحسن. I found Jays book easy to read and very helpful in identifying certain behaviours, not only others but also my own behaviour.
لكن تذكر أنه ما من وجود لمثل هذا الشّخص، بل هناك البشر والأفعال التي يقومون بها. The topic is 'invalidating' - putting people down, seeing ourselves as superior. He kind of goes a bit on a tangent for most of the second half of the book, in my opinion. But the tendency to fit everything into his own personal view of the world doesn't stop there. I came away thinking that every time I act strong, even in the face of oppression or bullying, that makes me an Invalidator. He has some good tips for how to react in certain specific situations. .
This book helps you recognize and deal with people who use various mechanisms of invalidation against you, and what mechanisms of invalidation you may be using yourself. They may intellectually know what they are doing, but they are not engaged in the bigger picture. Everyone knows a person who has been hurt, betrayed, or degraded by nasty individuals or has experienced it themselves. Not being able to atone, they disrespect and lower the other person in their eyes, when really they are feeling smaller and smaller themselves. Then, as he explains that we are all invalidators , I wanted to know more in depth what one can do to remedy the behavior, and all I really took from it was to act better.
With straight-talking advice, real-life anecdotes, and psychology that makes sense, Carter explains how to handle and stop painful behavior that harms both the perpetrator and the victim. It has some insight into how people become like that. Invalidators respond well to three things: affinity, acknowledgment and admiration. A little more elaboration and a few more tips would have made this an amazing book. My brother married a woman who seems to dislike our family, especially me, and is always making nasty comments to us.
لم أقيم خمسة نجوم كاملة، وانقصتها واحدة؛ وذلك لأن الأفكار في بعض أجزاء الكتاب غير مرتبة بشكل متسلسل يسمح للقارئ باستنباط الفكرة بوضوح. Exit the room, the conversation, even town if necessary. The second half of the book puts a little different twist on it. The thing that stands out the mo I read this book during a time in my life when a ruthless invalidator gathered a bunch of false accusations and criticisms, even wrote letters to my friends and my fiance with degradations about me. This is not to say that no such tip is offered, no, not at all. This is not a blame book. He reminds us that nobody is demonic all the time, and that invalidators come from a place where this strategy was worked against them.
It just puts it all in order for you. The author seems to try to mix it up eventually, switching from she to he, from bad wives to bad husbands, but still sometimes there is a combo of women examples that stands out. It certainly makes one aware of one's blind spots and that is a huge accomplishment in itself. I found this book to be okay and share similar insight as other books in this category. أي شخص من الممكن أن يصبح محقّرا من شأن الآخرين، وكذلك يمكن لأي شخص أن يُقلع عن هذا السلوك.
I know you might think that people can always help what they say, but if you do think that, refer to the section above on narcissism. So the first thing to realize is that it's not about you; it's about them. When she is not around, we try to think of good come-backs to say to her to put her in her place, but we don't want to alienate our brother. If someone accuses you of stealing or cheating and they are way off base, ask them if they are guilty of the same. Dico menandri eum an, accusam salutandi et cum, virtute insolens platonem id nec. أن نكون أقوى وأنضج و وأعمقُ أثراً وتأثيراً.